Art of the Chicken

H: We're going to Chili's on Friday night for margaritas.

T: Oh, I love the margaritas there. But the boneless buffalo wings are the absolute best! In fact, my (spouse) and I went there like every weekend last winter, and that's how I got this (points to a long-invisible spare tire on waistline).

H: Ew! I hate chicken wings, but I just love regular chicken.

T: These are good wings, though.

H: I hate the wings with the bones and the hair and everything. I never feel like I know what kind of meat I'm getting in them.

T: These are individual pieces of white meat with no bones or hair, and they're fried (said with a reverence usually reserved for Mets fans reminiscing about 1986).

This is a fair synopsis of an actual conversation yesterday between two of my friends. Their names were shortened to initials to protect the innocent, even though a chat at the gym about Chili's chicken wings is about as innocent as you can get.

Thing is, these two people are females. And their total combined body fat is like negative-64 percent, if there is such a measurement. And here they are, talking about their boozin' and their, well, wingin' and I'm like, When I think about the wrong food I might as well just switch to the next pants size. Or I would have to spend like 50 hours a week working out.

Wait! That's it! These two chicks do spend like 50 hours a week or so at the gym. Maybe there is something to this whole exercise thing. I am not sure what science tells us about it, but my guess is that judging by these two peeps of mine, that if you work out a lot, you have a little more liberty to eat and drink what you want and still be trim as a Charlie Brown Christmas tree.

There is a lot more to the story, though. I am into this whole food-as-a-chemistry-experiment thing. Sure, you can work out a lot and get away with eating different stuff and looking good. But actually feeling good and being healthy is a totally different thing.

I read a book called Live Right for Your Type (by Dr. Peter D'Adamo). He is something called a naturopath (that is not someone who is crazy for nature, it is like a doctor of holistic medicine or something).

This book's theory is that your blood type has an awful lot to do with the foods you ought to be eating or those from which you should stay away. I have not followed this thing religiously, but there are many points in there that make a lot of sense, and he backs them up scientifically.

Then last night at happy hour (I had not a morsel of junk food and only two beers), I was speaking about these theories with my friend R. I was saying how things like wheat are supposed to be bad for me, as a blood type A person, and that when I eat some of the "forbidden" things, I usually wake up the next day with some kind of phlegm.

Since good friends can freely speak about their respective phlegm-ification, she revealed that she, too, had a similar phlegm issue on most mornings, leading me to speculate that she is blood type A. We had the same seemingly weird symptom: Phlegm when waking up, and no phlegm problem once the morning phlegm was gone.

*Official sidenote: I enjoy typing the word phlegm.

Anyway, I have noticed that the phlegm goes away when I am staying with the regimen Dr. D'Adamo recommends. While this book is not for everyone, those interested in health and nutrition should add it to their libraries. It's decent and powerful knowledge, and two of my sisters already are showing interest (I forced interest on one because I got her the book for her birthday).

Speaking of birthdays, happy 34th to one of our dedicated readers, former figure skating great Tonya Harding.

I'm out.