Trouble

Was there a better song ever written than Trouble Me by 10,000 Maniacs?

Not for the mood I was in today when I heard it. And then when I replayed it thrice.

As the search for the right job continues, today marks the six-month anniversary of the passing of Vanishing James' sister. It's not one of those banner days for him, ya know? There have not been many banner days around here lately, either. Feels like walking on eggshells half the time, never knowing if the thing around the corner is going to be the back-breaker.

But today I heard Natalie Merchant's voice, and it just somehow gave me some much-needed strength - from somewhere.

Here's what she said (she wrote it, too):

Trouble me, disturb me with all your cares and you worries.

Trouble me on the days when you feel spent.

Why let your shoulders bend underneath this burden when my back is sturdy and strong?

Trouble me.


Speak to me, don't mislead me, the calm I feel means a storm is swelling;

there's no telling where it starts or how it ends.

Speak to me, why are you building this thick brick wall to defend me when your silence is my greatest fear?

Why let your shoulders bend underneath this burden when my back is sturdy and strong?

Speak to me.


Let me have a look inside these eyes while I'm learning.

Please don't hide them just because of tears.

Let me send you off to sleep with a "There, there, now stop your turning and tossing."

Let me know where the hurt is and how to heal.


Spare me? Don't spare me anything troubling.

Trouble me, disturb me with all your cares and you worries.

Speak to me and let our words build a shelter from the storm.

Lastly, let me know what I can mend.

There's more, honestly, than my sweet friend, you can see.

Trust is what I'm offering if you trouble me.


I always want to be the one who can be troubled, and yet sometimes when I need to trouble others, it makes me feel weak for some reason. With the Fordham crew I always feel like the go-to guy, and that is the greatest feeling in the world. But when you feel it in one place, you feel that same responsibilty to the others in your life.

That's why it's so hard to cry.

One of these days, I'm sure the cry will happen and my stress level will probably decrease and I'll be a tremendously more happy and genuine person. But until then, I'll continue to plug away and not be a sissy and feel sorry for having a great life that has happened to hit a few minor bumps along the way.

Thanks for letting me trouble you. It made me feel great.

There's more, honestly, than my sweet friend, you can see.

Trust is what I'm offering if you trouble me.